{"id":6981,"date":"2025-06-18T15:51:03","date_gmt":"2025-06-18T22:51:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/?p=6981"},"modified":"2025-06-22T17:21:36","modified_gmt":"2025-06-23T00:21:36","slug":"what-to-look-for-in-a-therapist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2025\/life\/what-to-look-for-in-a-therapist\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Thoughts on What to Look for in a Therapist"},"content":{"rendered":"

Since I just released Along Came A Gardener, <\/em>in which I encourage anyone to go for therapy if they\u2019re feeling emotionally stuck, I thought I\u2019d write a blog post, giving 7 thoughts on what to look for in a therapist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I Used to Hire Therapists<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Back in the 1990s, as the B.C. Director for Corporate Health Consultants, a national EFAP firm, I hired counselors throughout B.C. to provide confidential counseling services for employees and their families from many workplaces. Though a therapist myself, there were periods in my life when my husband and I sought help. Seeking help through a counselor is much like going to your GP or your dentist. There are some problems in life that require professional help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Following are 7 Thoughts on What to Look for in a Therapist<\/h4>\n\n\n
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  1. Make sure your therapist is qualified<\/strong>. A good therapist will be a registered psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker. They will have their MD, PhD, Master of Counseling Psychology, or Master of Social Work. It doesn\u2019t hurt to ask for the background of who you want to see, no matter who recommends the service.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
      \n
    1. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      2. Did your therapist open the first session by telling you that if you said anything that suggested you were thinking of harming yourself or others, they had a duty to report to the proper authorities? <\/strong>Though this may raise alarm bells with you, professionals need to protect you and the public from harm. If they neglected to warn you, then perhaps they are not bound by their profession\u2019s code of ethics and conduct. Perhaps they are not the professionals they say they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      3. A good therapist needs to be warm and understanding<\/strong>. If the therapist is non-judgmental and makes you feel comfortable, then it\u2019ll be easier for you to speak openly and from the heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      4. If you are seeing a therapist with a spouse, partner or child for conflict resolution, and nothing changes from session to session, then it\u2019s best to find someone else who can help.<\/strong> It makes matters worse to arrange counseling only to feel worse after each meeting. If you feel worse after only one session, then give it some time, especially if you like the therapist. But if you find that after a number of sessions, you\u2019re still going in circles, it\u2019s best to find someone else who can help you stop the unhealthy patterns of communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      5. A good therapist needs to be a good listener<\/strong>. If you find your therapist talking too much, or lecturing, or giving advice before they\u2019ve heard and understood your situation, you\u2019d be best to walk away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      6. Does the therapist encourage you to keep coming for more sessions, even though you\u2019re feeling you\u2019re on the path to a better life? <\/strong>There is much debate about short-term vs. long-term therapy. With a good therapist, it is amazing how much can be accomplished in three to six sessions. However, I also know there are many who need longer term involvement, and that\u2019s fine, too. The only reason I\u2019m bringing this up is because when you engage a professional therapist for longer term, you are often paying for that service. It\u2019s the way a therapist stays employed. They need that income. However, most are not mercenary. If they were, they would\u2019ve chosen a different profession. And there may be other needs that aren\u2019t addressed when a therapist encourages you to keep coming. Perhaps they enjoy what they do with you in the session. They are people, after all. And counseling is an intellectual exercise, one that often benefits both client and counselor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      7. If the problem you raise is psychiatric or one of addictions, is your therapist skilled enough to deal with these issues? <\/strong>If not, do they refer you to a specialist? As mentioned above, counseling is often a financial transaction. You don\u2019t want to keep paying if the person you\u2019re seeing isn\u2019t an expert in the problem you present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      For More on My Book ALONG CAME A GARDENER<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

      For more on personal and family therapy, on how it\u2019s evolved over the years, and what I learned about managing life\u2019s problems from my 25 years working as a family therapist, check out my book Along Came A Gardener<\/em>, available on Amazon<\/a><\/strong> and other major bookseller websites. You could also ask your independent bookstore or library to bring it in for you. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \"what<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

      If you like what you read, please place a review on the site where you bought it.<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Since I just released Along Came A Gardener, in which I encourage anyone to go for therapy if they\u2019re feeling emotionally stuck, I thought I\u2019d write a blog post, giving… <\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6982,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[744,88,1272],"tags":[903,78,545,963,67],"class_list":["post-6981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","category-life","category-mental-health","tag-along-came-a-gardener","tag-diana-stevan","tag-family-therapist","tag-therapist","tag-therapy"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/therapy-9559330_640.webp?fit=640%2C458&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1LuVB-1OB","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2842,"url":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2016\/writing\/along-came-a-gardener\/","url_meta":{"origin":6981,"position":0},"title":"Along Came A Gardener","author":"Diana Stevan","date":"10 \u0412\u0435\u0440\u0435\u0441\u043d\u044f, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I've decided to take a side trip and write a non-fiction book, called Along Came A Gardener. 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In this inspirational book, I'll share some tips on managing life's ups and downs. Tips I gave my clients during my twenty-five years as a therapist. Human Pain Does Not Discriminate I've been blessed to\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u0423 "Therapy"","block_context":{"text":"Therapy","link":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/category\/therapy-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"untitled","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/untitled-197x300.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6420,"url":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2024\/uncategorized\/along-came-a-gardener-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":6981,"position":2},"title":"Along Came A Gardener","author":"Diana Stevan","date":"8 \u041b\u0438\u043f\u043d\u044f, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Hallelujah; I can finally say my latest book, Along Came A Gardener, has a publishing date. It's coming March 15, 2025. This non-fiction book is part memoir, part self-help, and part stories from the world of mental health. It's also a wonderful introduction to psychotherapy, letting the reader know the\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u0423 "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"along came a gardener","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/small-png-book-cover.png?fit=630%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/small-png-book-cover.png?fit=630%2C960&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/small-png-book-cover.png?fit=630%2C960&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6988,"url":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2025\/books\/7-post-book-launch-thoughts\/","url_meta":{"origin":6981,"position":3},"title":"7 Post Book Launch Thoughts","author":"Diana Stevan","date":"19 \u041b\u0438\u043f\u043d\u044f, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm happy Along Came A Gardener , my inspirational self-help book and memoir, is finally out, but I'm having a lot of post book launch thoughts. Some good ones, some not so good. Reviewing What Went Right 1) One postive post book launch thought is the fact Along Came A\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u0423 "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"post book launch thought","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/thumbnail_IMG_5173.jpg?fit=640%2C481&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/thumbnail_IMG_5173.jpg?fit=640%2C481&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/thumbnail_IMG_5173.jpg?fit=640%2C481&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6322,"url":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2023\/writing\/wrapping-up-writing\/","url_meta":{"origin":6981,"position":4},"title":"Wrapping Up Writing","author":"Diana Stevan","date":"20 \u0413\u0440\u0443\u0434\u043d\u044f, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Year-end is a good time for wrapping up writing and more. 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