{"id":1769,"date":"2014-08-25T10:22:06","date_gmt":"2014-08-25T17:22:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/?p=1769"},"modified":"2019-05-19T06:30:39","modified_gmt":"2019-05-19T13:30:39","slug":"has-free-sex-killed-romance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2014\/writing\/has-free-sex-killed-romance\/","title":{"rendered":"Has Free Sex Killed Romance?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Today, unlike a few generations ago, couples engage in sex easily without a commitment. But <strong><span style=\"color: #800080;\">has free sex killed romance?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<h4>The Big Romantic Films<\/h4>\n<p>Is that why Hollywood gave up on making big romantic movies? It used to make great ones like: Gone With The Wind (1939), Casablanca (1942), <span style=\"text-decoration: underline; color: #800080;\"><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0059113\/?ref_=fn_al_ch_1a\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #800080;\">Dr. Zhivago<\/span><\/a><\/strong> <\/span>(1965), Love Story (1970). There was even that wonderful time \u00a0in the nineties that saw the production of When Harry Met Sally (1989), Sleepless in Seattle (1993), While You Were Sleeping (1995), The Bridges of Madison County (1995) and then more recently, The Notebook (2004).<\/p>\n<h4>Today&#8217;s Couplings<\/h4>\n<p>Since then, the romance genre has evolved into supposed love stories, where couples connect\u2014kissing and fondling are fast tracked\u2014and before long, they&#8217;re ripping each other\u2019s clothes off and having sex.<\/p>\n<p>Films and books, reflecting our times, no longer tell stories of couples moving slowly towards commitment. The so-called courtship period seems to have vanished.<\/p>\n<p>Nor are there many contemporary books that show a couple falling in love and taking time to consummate their relationship. In the fifties, magazine articles asked, \u201cShould you kiss on a first date?\u201d By the seventies, it was \u201cShould you have sex on a first date?\u201d Today, the magazines are explicit about orgasms, how to please your mate, and oral sex, and whether Miley Cyrus went too far with her twerking.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"1773\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2014\/writing\/has-free-sex-killed-romance\/attachment\/bridges-of-madison-county\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/bridges-of-madison-county.jpg?fit=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"160,160\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"bridges of madison county\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/bridges-of-madison-county.jpg?fit=160%2C160&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-1773\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/bridges-of-madison-county.jpg?resize=160%2C160\" alt=\"bridges of madison county\" width=\"160\" height=\"160\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/bridges-of-madison-county.jpg?w=160&amp;ssl=1 160w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/bridges-of-madison-county.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\" \/>In 2011, the number one bestseller was Fifty Shades of Grey. It was no <span style=\"color: #800080;\"><span style=\"color: #800080;\"><strong>Bridges of Madison County<\/strong><\/span><\/span>, where a photographer passing through a town falls in love with a married woman hungering for romance and passion. Fifty Shades of Grey is largely a sex story, with all manners of S &amp; M propelling the characters and the simple plot forward. This book would\u2019ve been considered pornography a decade ago, but with every sexual barrier between men and women removed, erotic stories have entered the mainstream.<\/p>\n<h4>A Romantic Story<\/h4>\n<p>Perhaps I wrote my debut novel, <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/CRY-DEEP-Diana-Stevan-ebook\/dp\/B00OI1PCZU\/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=a+cry+from+the+deep&amp;qid=1558272137&amp;s=gateway&amp;sr=8-2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>A Cry From The Deep<\/strong><\/a>,\u00a0<\/em>a romantic mystery\/adventure, because I wanted to read a good romance. A relationship that took its time.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve had very good reviews but there was one reviewer who complained I hadn&#8217;t gone far enough in my sex scenes. I have no problem with that.\u00a0 She&#8217;d expected something more graphic and was disappointed.<\/p>\n<h4>What Do You Think?<\/h4>\n<p>But has all this free sex killed romance? \u00a0Is this why more than fifty per cent of young people are living alone? Do they need company if they can have sex without marriage? <span style=\"color: #800080;\"><strong>I\u2019d love to know what you think.<\/strong> <\/span>If you think romance still exists\u2014more than on just on Valentine\u2019s Day\u2014why \u00a0aren\u2019t films and books in recent years reflecting this more?<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today, unlike a few generations ago, couples engage in sex easily without a commitment. But has free sex killed romance? The Big Romantic Films Is that why Hollywood gave up&hellip; <\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,82],"tags":[609,232,643,642,380,639,641,640],"class_list":["post-1769","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing","category-film-2","tag-a-cry-from-the-deep","tag-bestseller","tag-bridges-of-madison-county","tag-casablanca","tag-fifty-shades-of-grey","tag-gone-with-the-wind","tag-love-story","tag-romance"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1LuVB-sx","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1762,"url":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2014\/writing\/a-sucker-for-romance\/","url_meta":{"origin":1769,"position":0},"title":"A SUCKER FOR ROMANCE","author":"Diana Stevan","date":"4 \u0421\u0435\u0440\u043f\u043d\u044f, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019ve always been a sucker for romance. One of my favorite books is the old classic, Gone With The Wind, by Margaret Mitchell. The love story between Scarlett O\u2019Hara, the southern vixen, and Rhett Butler, the man who could not be tamed, resonated with readers everywhere. In real life, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u0423 &quot;Books&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Gone With The Wind","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Gone-With-The-Wind.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2473,"url":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2016\/uncategorized\/tinders-not-so-tender\/","url_meta":{"origin":1769,"position":1},"title":"Tinder&#8217;s Not So Tender","author":"Diana Stevan","date":"23 \u0421\u0456\u0447\u043d\u044f, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"It's easier than ever to hook up today. Ways of dating have changed dramatically with the rise in popularity of dating apps. The most notable one, Tinder, is often used to find a sexual partner, but from what I've read, Tinder\u2019s not so tender when it comes to satisfying both\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u0423 &quot;Books&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Tinder's Not So Tender","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Tinder_Age_Chart.png?fit=1004%2C578&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Tinder_Age_Chart.png?fit=1004%2C578&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Tinder_Age_Chart.png?fit=1004%2C578&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Tinder_Age_Chart.png?fit=1004%2C578&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6505,"url":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2024\/books\/celebrating-a-cry-from-the-deep-with-a-sale-on-its-10th-anniversary\/","url_meta":{"origin":1769,"position":2},"title":"Celebrating &#8216;A Cry from the Deep&#8217; with a Sale on its 10th Anniversary","author":"Diana Stevan","date":"9 \u0416\u043e\u0432\u0442\u043d\u044f, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"My Debut Book Launch It was a dark and stormy night\u00a0in October, 2014, when I launched A Cry from the Deep, my debut novel, at the local library in Campbell River on Vancouver Island. It wasn\u2019t a night to be out. The wind howled, as it does across Discovery Passage,\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u0423 &quot;Books&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Welcome","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/cropped-Coho-Bestseller3.jpg?fit=940%2C427&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/cropped-Coho-Bestseller3.jpg?fit=940%2C427&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/cropped-Coho-Bestseller3.jpg?fit=940%2C427&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/cropped-Coho-Bestseller3.jpg?fit=940%2C427&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1907,"url":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2015\/writing\/why-do-writers-write-what-they-write\/","url_meta":{"origin":1769,"position":3},"title":"Why Do Writers Write What They Write?","author":"Diana Stevan","date":"18 \u041b\u044e\u0442\u043e\u0433\u043e, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 The question of why\u00a0writers write what they write came up a while back,\u00a0when I caught an interview that Stephen Colbert did with author, Toni Morrison, a Pulitzer\u00a0and Nobel Prize winner, who started writing at age 39. Stephen asked Toni Morrison if she was undergoing a mid-life crisis at the\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u0423 &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/category\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"180px-Beloved_by_Toni_Morrison","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/180px-Beloved_by_Toni_Morrison.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1422,"url":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2013\/writing\/inspired-by-a-fly\/","url_meta":{"origin":1769,"position":4},"title":"Inspired By A Fly","author":"Diana Stevan","date":"5 \u041b\u0438\u043f\u043d\u044f, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019ve neglected my blog for a week as I\u2019ve been busy revising, yet again, my novel\u2014a romantic adventure with some paranormal elements. My blog topic was going to be one about Snowden\u2014the whistle blower on American spying\u2014and whether he\u2019s a hero or a villain (our family is evenly divided on\u2026","rel":"","context":"\u0423 &quot;Life&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Life","link":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/category\/life\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"fly photo (2)","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.dianastevan.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/fly-photo-2-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2062,"url":"https:\/\/www.dianastevan.com\/uk\/2015\/writing\/putting-spice-in-your-brand\/","url_meta":{"origin":1769,"position":5},"title":"Putting Spice In Your Brand","author":"Diana Stevan","date":"17 \u0422\u0440\u0430\u0432\u043d\u044f, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"What kind of writer are you? Do you have a series with a protagonist that shows up in every book you write? Do you write in the same genre? Do you think about your brand when you\u2019re writing? What spice are you putting in your brand? 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